The Norport Anomaly

 

By Richard Hardenburg

The beautiful Canadian city of Norport, situated in the northern territory of British Salmoa, has long stood as a testament to progress and prosperity. During the Great Second War, the Canadian Armed Militia (CAM) fortified this region, stationing key resources to defend the nation against a possible enemy invasion.

Years have passed since those anxious days, and—by all accounts—only progress has invaded Norport. The region now enjoys a high standard of living and modern comforts that make it the envy of the country. Yet in recent days, unease has quietly spread through the upper ranks of the Canadian Coast-to-Coast Posting Authority (CCCP-A), a division of the Tactical Internet Consortium (TIC) tasked with safeguarding national intellectual property of tactical significance.

The source of their concern lies in a recent publication in the Journal of Speculative Biology by Professor J. R. Marino-Albernas, a newly appointed member of the University of British Salmoa’s Department of Macrobiology. The paper—innocently titled Preliminary Observations on Sasquatchus anonymus—appears to have stirred a storm in digital space.

“What triggered the alerts on our CCCPA servers,” explained Mr. Larry Norton, regional director of the agency, “is not merely the popularity of the article, but the nature of its readers. The User-Agents of the individual clients accessing the publication could not be identified.”

According to Norton, such irregularities are not uncommon. Yet the volume of access to this single article is, in his words, “something we have never experienced before for a scientific paper.”

When asked whether the event might constitute a Denial-of-Service (DoS) cyberattack, Norton was quick to dismiss the idea. “The access patterns were not destructive. They appear, rather… inquisitive. It is as if something—or someone—was attempting to learn the article.”

Norton further revealed that parallel agencies in Russia, Germany, the United States, and China have reported similar anomalies and are monitoring the situation closely. An interagency conference has been convened to assess potential implications.

“Having said this,” Norton assured, “there is no cause for alarm. The Canadian Interest remains secure. Our teams are in contact with the University of British Salmoa and Professor Albernas to better understand the nature of this curiosity.”

As of writing, the British Salmoa Times has not received comment from TIC officials, despite attempts to reach the agency regarding the incident.

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